I swear that I'll start doing these movie by movie. This all at once thing is fucking ridiculous. No wonder I don't want to write this monstrosity. I can't seem to stop watching movies though. So I guess the show must go on.

As always, I celebrated Christmas by some rewatching of the classics. It's been quite a while since I watched these movies and I've seen them quite a few times, so these reviews may be rather lackluster (for example, I seem to be admitting love for each film), but I haven't written anything in forever and am starting to doubt the existence of this column. And I will not let this column not exist.

A Christmas Story -> It's a Wonderful Life -> Beauty and the Beast -> Bad Santa -> Rocky Horror Picture Show -> Ghostbusters -> Ghostbusters II -> Lost in La Mancha -> Christmas Vacation -> Scrooged -> Ugly Truth -> Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog -> Observe and Report -> 2010 -> Intolerable Cruetly -> Infamous -> Star Trek IV -> 500 Days of Summer -> Avatar

You'll shoot you're eye out kid. This time watching A Christmas Story, I focused on the scenery. On the wallpaper. I focused on what a good job they did with the time period and how they made it come alive. Think about his little brother in the big coat. The fur hat with flaps worn by the bully. Think about the Leg Lamp. The major award. Think about what a good job the father did. The way he fought the furnace and read the paper. What's a paper? What's a furnace? Not one computer in the entire movie. How did they live like that?

I love It's a Wonderful Life and bawled like a baby at the end and during all the parts where George rose up to protect the people and the Building and Loan against the evil Banker Mr. Potter. It reminded me so much of what's going on now, I could barely take it. The power of Frank Capra is incredible, even today. Between this one and Mr. Smith, he put on an incredible show for America, telling them what's wrong and what to do about it. The Jimmy Stewart character (in both movies) constantly focuses on responsibility and doing what's right and because of his actions society improves. The other characters, Wainwright and those who go away to college leaving their small town behind are shown as bad apples, the reason that things are allowed to go wrong, the disconnected. George is also fortunate to have Donna Reed around. She's clearly an incredibly supportive person who tries to help George accept his reality and stay grounded. Powerful film. Much more than a Christmas movie, more of an economics lesson about a class struggle that many have forgotten.

With great songs and a gorgeous female character that reads voraciously, there's no reason why I wouldn't love Beauty and the Beast. This time I noticed what a good job they did mixing in the computer animation with the hand drawn. This was still back in the early days of computer animation and they didn't allow it to over take the hand drawn like they do now (of course now they just bring the hand drawn into the computer and move it around). Simple plot with solid execution. Another Disney Masterpiece.

Quickly becoming a Christmas classic, I rewatched Bad Santa and couldn't believe what a nasty little character his elfin partner turns out to be. He double-crosses Billy Bob. He hits Bernie Mac with a tire iron and orders his wife crush him to death with their car. And it was probably his idea to start robbing department stores around Christmastime using a Santa Claus on the inside. Think about it. He's a dwarf, so he's the one who's a diminutive thief. He's the one with the need for a plan. There's no way Billy Bob the drunk could have thought of it. If he thought of it, he's also the one who hired Billy Bob the drunken safecracker. So he's also responsible for his own downfall and it didn't really have to be that way. Of course, I guess it didn't matter, because Billy Bob told the Kid and the Kid called the cops anyway, so it's pretty likely that even if they were still working together they would have been caught that night. But really, if you want to stop working with someone, just stop. You don't have to shoot them and rob them. Act like a fucking professional, eh? That was one bad ass motherfucking elf.

It's just a jump to the left. While always better with a drunken midnight audience, it's still nice to dust off the old DVD and enjoy a little Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's amazing how strong the first half is and how bad the second half is. I guess it's just that the story gets out of control and is harder to tell after they've exposed the alien conspiracy. I enjoy all the small touches, such as the aliens who hide in the background during the opening wedding scene. And that wacky narrator guy. What did he have to do with anything anyway? Fun movie. Great soundtrack.

I rewatched Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II in the background one lazy sunday while doing laundry. I think I rewatched them because I had been playing the Ghostbusters video game and was tired of a weak imitation, I wanted the real thing. Still classic, with the first one still better than the second one, and although the second one has its problems, I still think it's a good story. I like the way the Vigo monster is interacting with the Ghostbusters throughout the entire movie, messing with the baby from the opening scene onwards. Also driving the statue of liberty with a NES Advantage controller is something that never gets old.

Heartbreaking disasterpiece, a study in loss, Lost in La Mancha details the destruction of Terry Gilliam's first attempt to film Don Quixote. Gilliam is underfunded, overly ambitious, with a schedule that allows no failures. The weather turns against them on the first day, transforming the desert into a monsoon ruining their chance to film and ruining their original footage, because none of the colors of the scene no longer match. Things only get worse as the lead actor develops a prostate condition that leaves him unable to ride a horse (something that Don Quixote does throughout the entire film). The sets, costumes and story boards look fantastic, but the film was never to be. Gilliam is defeated, but maybe not forever. It's been rumored that he's restarting the project and while Johnny Depp has not re-signed on, Gilliam says he'll be there, and I believe him.

Christmastime is always a good time to enjoy a little Christmas Vacation. This time I was thrilled to see Dr. Leonard Hofstadter from Big Big Theory (formerly David from Rosanne) as little Rusty Grizwald. Who knew he was ever so young. I also enjoyed the way Clark accidentally destroyed the life of his neighbor Elaine Benes from Seinfeld. That was hilarious. The scene where he manages to destroy nearly every piece of high end electronics in their house with a wayward ice spear is brilliant because of the way it leaves no trace.

I rewatched Scrooged because I hadn't seen it in a long time, and it was Christmastime and Jim Carrey was advertising the new Christmas Carol on Conan O'Brien's late night talk show, a thing that used to exist back in those days. I still don't really care for Scrooged. The best scene still seems to be the opener where Bill Murray is a jerk who runs a television channel that advertises Christmas with explosions and violence. I liked Bobcat Goldwait as Bob Cratchet, but there just wasn't enough of him. The whole thing just seems rushed. They never seem to break for a joke or add a new scene or twist the story a little. Just seemed like bad man, three ghosts, good man, end of story. Like it was made for TV.

When an Ugly Truth began, I was really excited to see that it "took place" in Sacramento. Alas, all it was only a nice helicopter shot of the West Sac Pyramid and Downtown, a shot of the Light Rail and the Bridge and the fact that the girl lived in an old fashioned apartment building that might exist somewhere in the Fabulous 40s, but is actually on a backlot somewhere in Hollywood. The movie was as bland as the non-existant scenery. Your standard oil meets water and then they mix together romantic comedy formula, with Mr. Macho from The 300 playing a macho jerk character and the royal bitch who hates the movie that made her famous (Knocked Up) Katherine Heigel playing an unlikable bitch who somehow she convinces the former ab man that she secretly has a heart of gold beneath her control freak exterior. They fall in love, allegedly in Sacramento, while trying to recreate some of the old "battle of the sexes" political discussion of He Said She Said, but it's so tired and post-PC that it fails to raise the film above the level of yet another bland romantic comedy with a predictable plot and nothing to say. But at least it "takes place" in Sacramento.

I wasn't sure at first. At first it seemed like they might be making fun of musicals and I wasn't sure how far they were gonna go, but slowly it overtook me and now I'm a huge fan of yet another Doogie Howser broadway related project, Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog. I liked it so much, I watched it a second time and created my own happy ending version (just like Moulin Rouge) by ending the film slightly early to allow Dr. Horrible (the lovable yet evil maniac played by Doogie) to defeat his enemy and save the girl. It really is better that way. Evil triumphant, breaking the cliche and ending the possibility of a sequel (something that the original ending of the film leaves wide open).

I haven't seen Mall Cop, but I watched Observe and Report because I heard it was good, like a Mall Cop version of Taxi Driver. I didn't find it to be that, exactly. It was more like a mess. Parts were funny, parts were psycho. It certainly wasn't a cookie cutter movie like all the others. It tried to take some risks, but somehow didn't ring true. Was too silly and then too serious. Maybe it's the addition of quasi-standup Azi Ansari and the failure of Anna Farris to have any character that leaves Rogan's character adrift with no one to add additional comic support. Support that was desperately needed.

Just as I did when the year struck 2001, as the year struck 2010 I rewatched the much maligned sequel to the classic Kubrick film. Although it clearly falls into the outdated Cold War film category with Red Dawn, Rocky IV and Robot Jox, the film holds up surprisingly well. But it all comes down to whether or not you like HAL's insanity explained or unexplained. In 2010 it is explained that HAL was given conflicting orders and did his best to resolve the conflict. While this explanation is simpler than HAL the computer either developing consciousness to a level such that he could develop insanity or that HAL could have been influenced by the monolith. But to ruin the plot of one movie is to create the plot of another. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Which is what 2010 does at the end when Jupiter turns into a Black Hole and then a second Sun, an event that would end all life as we know it in a variety of ways, but in the film is seen as a miraculous event that joins all of mankind (ie: US and Soviets) as one. Sure sure, it's a metaphor... the wiping out of all darkness, but it would pretty much kill all plants, animals and people. And that's saying nothing about the damage done to the solar system, orbit paths, gravity, magnetic poles, and probably a thousand other things that the creators of 2010 never took into account. I wish more filmmakers had the balls to destroy the universe as we know it and call it a win. Seriously.

I rewatced Intolerable Cruelty because it's still incredibly awesome and incredibly underrated. I think it gets better every time I see it. It's such a fantastic anti-romance. Can Lawyers and Gold Diggers ever truly find love? Find out, by watching Intolerable Cruelty. Something I do far too often, but I really do think I could easily watch it again. I love Cedric the Entertainer's magnificent Gus Petch, the PI with balls who will nail your ass. "I'm gonna nail yo ass. Nail yo ass." Hilarious. Between that and Miller's Crossing, I just can't stop watching Coen Brothers films. It used to be just Lebowski and Hudsucker, but it's spread. Like a virus.

Having seen the other Capote film years ago (titled Capote), I was interested to see the alternative take of Infamous. Covering pretty much the same period, Infamous comes off as a more personal film about Capote. It's less grand than Capote. Less big budget Hollywood and some how rings more true. I liked Hoffman in the role, but somehow this guy just seems better. I probably need to watch them both back to back to really get the full effect. Though I must say, this film has the insufferable Sandra Bullock in the Harper Lee role. I definitely preferred Catherine Keener (even though I thought the role was played by Ted Danson's Wife, the Girl from Back to the Future III, I'm blocking on her name, but she always plays plain looking girls named Nell. Mary Steenburgen. I had to look it up. I wouldn't be able to spell Steenburgen anyway.) but somehow the performance by Toby Jones (who also played the voice of Dobby the House Elf in Harry Potter and Karl Rove in Oliver Stone's instant classic W. -- that I might want to see again. Been a while since that monster left us and the new monster took the stage.) is so strong, you can just block her out. Though I did like her recent appearance at the Razzies, but I still don't want to watch All About Steve (mainly based on the title and that it's probably a parody or takeoff of All About Eve, a great film that should be left alone. Leave old films alone!). A powerful look at an interesting moment in history when the journalist became an author and the author became too close to his subject. Truman finds a newspaper column that he can't forget, about the brutal murder of the Clutter family, writes a masterpiece and leaves the rest of us so transfixed that we not only make his book into a movie, but make not one, but two movies about the creation of his masterpiece. If only Truman could have lived to see this.

Truly the best of all the Star Trek movies, I first saw it in the theaters at a free screening given for crossing guards. It was awesome then and it's awesome now. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home sets the standard for fun science fiction. It's both hilarious and presents a positive message (as was the fashion of the time, ala Lethal Weapon movies) about saving the whales. See it again for the first time. It only gets funnier.

Maybe this is why I couldn't write these reviews for a while. But I finally saw 500 Days of Summer and while I didn't like the jumping around timeline, I found the film to be very realistic. I don't know about the ending though.

Ok, so much has been said, and the great Oscar predictions (made by myself as well) have been made and lost, but somehow I still haven't reviewed Avatar, even though I saw it forever ago and now have seen it both in Imax 3D and Regular 3D. The plot is stupid. Wishy washy on it's peace message and filled with ultra violent imagery including the destruction of HomeTree (essentially the end of thousands of years of the Native American's Navi society) yet balanced out with the Native Americans winning in the end (unlike what actually happened). I noticed that the Queue to Queue sex scene was missing, even before I read that it existed. It just makes so much sense, after seeing him merge with everything else, the trees, the animals, and now the women. And it would have been mad sexy. They refer to it in the following scene, when it's clear she's bonded to him and the Chieftain is pretty pissed off (seems like a little more than a maidenhead). I felt a lot of the setups were too long and the film probably could have been cut down and less epic, but of course I'm not usually a fan of epics. I am however, a fan of Avatar because of what the Computer Graphics and 3D are going to do for movies. Now that it's lost the Oscar, it is more powerful than ever. People are writing articles about how Computer Graphics aren't being accepted by Baby Boomer actors because they're afraid it could wipe them out. In a way they're right. We don't need pretty boys anymore in my opinion. Put 'em in a green suit, map their face, fix their face and make the movie. You're gonna shoot in a full fake reality anyway, why not just do the character's face like the blue people. The movie works you into it, showing first all humans, then half humans half blue people and then eventually all blue people and then it gets magical. Movies in the future will just start with the magic. So the Boomer actors are right. They're done. But there is an upside. If they have popular personas, they could continue to voice and act their characters forever. First through motion capture and fixing their faces (imagine a Captain Kangaroo that never ages and could do shows forever), then recording dialogue for endless films, tv shows and commercials. Virtual Locations, Virtual Actors, Virtual Backdrops. It's all here.

Not much to say at the end here. I certainly have more movies to review and books as well. But at least now I'm back on the board. More to come.